Category: poetry

Cries to the dying self

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

I fear myself.

I fear the climb.

I fear the change to a better me.

I fear progression.

I fear alteration.

I fear the death of an older me

I fear the loss

the change
/
I fear the delusion of self blame.

I fear the shame of enacting failure.

I fear the shame of inaction.

I fear the finding of new friends.

I fear the birth of a new self.

One that will brave the cold.

I fear the strength that lies within

it overwhelms, that boldness

To be strong is to be capable
/
I fear my capacity
I fear the gifts that’ve been given to me.

Fear the work that I must do. 

I fear the progress made.

I fear the joy of new discovery.

I fear the path that’s been paved.

my old self fears greatly,

that old self fears to die.
Yet it must or all else fails

including all I love.

miss the leaves

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

Does a butterfly miss being a

caterpillar?

Does a butterfly miss the cocoon?

Does a caterpillar enjoy the chrysalis, does it look forward to the bloom

of wings and air and florals?

Can the caterpillar conceive of

flight and air and breeze?

Does a caterpillar ever hunger for flowers?

Does a butterfly miss the leaves?

Does a butterfly miss all that walking,

crawling on its knees?

Trigger

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

The people that degrade me

the people that I am around,

that erode my boundaries.

They do not try to, but they trigger-

me and past thoughts.
they trigger past alternatives.

they trigger past temptations and

awaken old patterns that lead to death.

the people around me that

erode my boundaries

without trying

just by talking

to have them around, erodes-

Boundaries, self, new goals

They all erode-

to the old self,

to a lesser version

of me that once was

and tries to revive.

Choices

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

I struggle on helpless and alone, though I know

I am neither

you are with me in every step

holding me up

I’m believing lies

I don’t know where they’re rooted.

I don’t yet feel ready to face them,

Yet I know you want me to.

Only with you can I do it.

I’ve tasted the freedom you offer.

I long to get it back.

I must put in my own sweat to get there

you are the guide.

But you cannot take steps for me.

I must move myself forward.

tradition musings

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

Christian tradition:

change and revolution,

nonviolent aggression,

dignity and justice,
bringing to completion;
recognition of equality, despite social status.
a pointed arrow, not a loop.

Christian perspectives
unique to us.

they’ve spread elsewhere, suffused the world

where we progress to and from

each generation changes

yet the Spirit leads us

and scripture too.

Scripture, but a tool of the Spirit

a tool of God the Father,

all pointing to Christ.

a Christian tradition,

the anchor point—

thing on which all is built