Pride

The usefulness of pride

this a seeking of the self’s

a desire, a lust

of self, of me, I

this destroys families

You destroy cities,

he destroyed neighborhoods, provinces,

he’ll any destroy entire nations.

You made me wonder if you’re worthy of my time,

you’re not.

My pride is not worth my time,

my pride is worth less than my shit.

You’re a killer, how many times I neglected to ask for help

making so many things worse

prayer 1

Prayer.

A glorious, marvelous thing

to speak to our King:

Directly,

to approach boldly,

to bring petition, request, anguish, and joy, and praise.

/

Many forgotten reverence,

but only because of the boy child that was born,

which God gave to us, His son

/

He shared that he may have siblings

and he’d be the first in all things

that we may pray

and approach

and connect

and speak to him.

whether through sound or thought.

He knows our heart.

He knows our joy or despair.

He has walked with us there

from August 11, 2022

“Linger all you like, it won’t change much.” The laughter was cruel and without humanity. “I’ll just up the pressure.”

The grunt and groaned response carried meaning the Laugher understood well. He’d heard the kind before. This was nearing a fun time in the process.

“You wanted to undertake this journey.” The screamed response was almost endearing. A fond smile touched the man’s lips as he lingered, prolonging the immediate process enjoying watching the screamer break so prettily. The meaning behind the tears and sobs where a music to him. An instrument to play to his hearts content. The times he chose to look and use his eyes, it was like reading a novel and getting his favorite chapter, over and over again. Though with different protagonists/characters. He enjoyed being a reader of that story.

The screamer shook his body, quaking the bonds constraining him, repeating the motions again and again and again until all meaning was lost; though tears and pain were still there. The Man saw to that. And pleasure too. There was that too.

The pressure was immense to conform, to remain, to move, the no choices beyond of the man’s choosing. He saw to it the screamer had few options but obedience. The screamer need not think. The Laugher had to/no need of the screamer’s mind. That’s not what he liked to read.

From August 28, 2022

A great wind blew across the land. Clouds roiled and bubbled, gray, black, flashes of purple and patches of brown moved seemingly without pattern or direction. The land had been in drought for many years. The Plains becoming scratchy tough brambles and stretches of desiccated piles of wood that once where without thorns had died and rotted long ago. Even the mountains that touched the clouds had become barren. Once the rivers that used to flow from them dried, everything else withered. When it began the cities at the foot of the mountains sent messengers and scouts into the mountains, contact in those people they knew there.

Though the clouds all moved as they had before, the fog, the water did not settle. No new ice formed, no dew fell on the ground. As far as the mountains extended on both sides, the winds were the same, but the rain would not come. No dew touched the earth. Though fog filled the air and clouded the eyes and stuffed the ears, the heavy pressure remained but no moisture was tasted on the tongue. No humidity, only dry, eventually with a dusty quality the people learned to ignore, then forgot was there to removed.

Flashes of lightening above the clouds carried no thunder down below. When that began it truly terrified the people remaining, especially when directly above. Many months the clouds grew, and the sky behind was a distant memory. Now, the clouds moved and shifted, where before was only stillness. There 3 remaining humans looked on, curious and stoic to their fate for they would not leave as the others had.

The wind washed over them. Their long, uncut, matted hair blowing around them. “Do you think it’s coming,” asked the only woman.

“Either it’s coming or we’ll die.” Responded the younger man, his black hair dancing loose over his shoulder in the wing as he looked at her.

“There’s no need to be dramatic about it,” the Elder man gently chided the young man. The Elder’s hair was bound in 3 rings along it’s length, a single tail, each ring a different material, leather, a silver metal, and something that perhaps once shone in the sun but was dull now and hard unyielding material. The Elder’s red hair was only visible at eh ends of his hair and some places on the back of his skull near the neck, every other hair was gray and silver.

“He isn’t being dramatic if he’s speaking truth” replied the woman, her hair once perhaps gold but now closer to mud brown filth as the others were. The long dreads of her hair kept it from getting worse.

“We aren’t going to die,” the Elder soothed.

The woman took a deep breath. Steeling herself. “If I didn’t believe you I’d’ve been gone long ago. But how—”

Thunder crashed above them. The lightening had become constant but without thunder. Now the thunder roared. Everyone covered their ears and huddled together. The roaring distracted them from the fist drops of rain. Pure, healing, blissful, blessed rain. None noticed the tears of joy the others wept as they drank their fill.

9-13-2022

“Population rise and fall and rise and fall and rise. Honor and integrity, discipline and self control. Key points for growth, and analysis, and understanding in a society that wants freedom. If they want Honor they must serve. Liberty, due to our mature now, cannot be obtained without sacrifice. In Jesus that sacrifice is done. The rehabilitation is begun, the Gifts flow as they should. As Rehab continues and sanctification proceeds the Glory of God through them shines brighter and brighter. If each one allows it and they are not distracted by the enemy, then the light floods the whole earth.

“Islands rise from nothing out of the ocean, and collections of sand and plants built on coral reefs sink and are washed away.”

The petition confused the Patriarchus Invul. It was his brother who spoke, before the entire court. Before today his brother has a lisp and a bad stutter, yet now his words flowed like warm honey. The meanings of what he said were both clear and elusive.

“Beloved brother” Invul began, “your words show wisdom, a clarity of thought, they have a strength and power I have never heard from you before.” Invul held his hand up to silence his brother, “Help me to understand, for meaning does elude me. I remember being told you wished to speak on the education of our young children of the kingdom. Perhaps I misunderstood?”

The buzzing and bubbling going through the court at his brother’s words had only dimmed to he slight degree as the king spoke, hoping for his brother to calm the coming chaos. The rage at his brother’s audacity was palpable. To mention—that name—after so long, after so much struggle removed it from the island chain. The repeated purges to remove it, ban it, punish people from using, worshiping that name, to say such a thing. Here. Not just in the King’s court but to hat King himself! It was beyond boldness or audacity. IT was madness. It approached a wish for death to speak that name here. No matter the wonders done in the Name.

“Patriarchus Invul” the King’s brother began, no one would acknowledge his choice to change his name but could not insult him by calling him by a name he himself had cast aside, so be became “King’s brother” (He chose Saul), “Please forgive my bold words. The subject remains as you remember. A Island hat comes from the ocean and is stone is a stronger foundation that lasts through the storms. An island of sand on a reef will be washed away and move easily sink in the saves, for nothing can have deep roots on such land.”

The king nodded his understanding of the point. The court was silent “This is part of the teaching. Our children cannot learn lasting things if what we have, if all we have to teach is a reef understand. How-“

The out burst from the court was violent and immediate. Despite the king’s shouts of order and silence. Invul was forced to watch his last living relative have his head caved in in one blow. What happed to his brother’s body after that the king refused to contemplate or reflect on. The blood never fully came out from the floor. Odd. Every other bloodstain did. In the years since his brother’s death, no matter what was done, even replacing the floor, the stain came back.