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Place of tension
It’s a place of power.
Things going into opposite directions tied together.
that place where they are tied,
a place of tension.
It is a place of power and strength
if you let it be-
or it can drive you apart.
The head and the heart: divided.
is tragedy.
The head and the heart: ignited,
is mighty.
The body and the spirit: divided.
is sadness.
The body and the spirit: united.
is joy.
A place of tension– between two things.
this tension is
a Gift.
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question about making amends
what would making amends look like or be?
would that be, clarifying the ways
in which addiction impacted my behavior toward them?
(Even though when I disclosed addiction I did not specify that.)
It seems the making direct amends is
trying to be specific with the apology,
and knowing,
and understanding,
and articulating exactly what behaviors
were not good,
and specifying an effort to do better and in what ways improvement shows,
and specifying specific ways that the addiction impacted my behavior.
I’m trying to understand
because there’s a person I know, a coworker, and others I’ve messed around
with in a bedroom sorta way.
And so I’m trying to figure out
God put those people on my heart
to make amends with.
So I’m also trying to figure out how to address that.
Because I do think they think
I’m very much together and have everything figured out and working–
and no.
Nope,
very much NO.
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casual gratitude
Five things I’m grateful for
Gilbert Rodriguez and
him reaching out to me.
I’m thankful for Danny Brown and him reaching out to me
again tonight.
I am thankful for Henry
for him reaching out to me
I am thankful that I did some work on my timeline tonight
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School days
Do you give your children keys to the shiny new
car? No, of course not.
Do you let them play with the
powerful sword? No, of course not.
Do you give them the cards to the expense
account, for the truly expensive and valuable items? No, of course not.
You don’t give that to a five year old.
You teach them with toys.
You build their
skills and their confidence
until you know that they’re ready
for the good things.
The valuable things, the rare things, the expensive things.
I feel like that is this life.
I feel like
we are currently kindergarteners waiting and learning.
Before graduating with a PhD, before going through
more education, getting better
resources and learning how to manage
the little toys we’ve been given.
When we have the little Tonka Trucks and
practice with them really well, take care of them, to see if we can actually manage a car.
It’s not quite the same. But
sometimes I think that’s what heaven will be like.
Having shown what we can actually manage
and our awards based on what we did,
getting keys to the real car, getting
keys to the expensive and valuable and the truly fun things.
Things that you can’t trust to children who are untrained, and
even when they’re trained, they’re
not quite mature enough for it yet. For now,
we aren’t quite ready
the truly Good Things.
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longing for the Lamb’s feast
getting keys to the expensive and valuable and the truly fun things.
those things belong to the Heir, to the Son.
we are not yet past the Feast of the Lamb.
How I long for that day.
I long for the feast of the Lamb. The Lamb’s Feast
I hope it will be many days. It was
the custom when He was among us, seven days I think for a wedding feast.
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Tools
You give me the tools
to do the work.
You don’t want me
doing nothing.
you point out the chains.
You gave me the feeling of
what it is to be without them.
But now I need to do the work.
You’ve given me the tools.
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Genesis: one poetic prose
Beauty written with Affection.
true.
Our God is the Maker, the Shaper
the Creator of all things
From the tiniest
microbe, every
planet around every star
in the sky, every
galaxy,
He made them all.
The sequence does not match
as we currently understand
the progress and
growth of life, the
evolution and designs.
It doesn’t match the sequence. But
what if from His perspective,
that is the sequence? Maybe
it just wasn’t all done on this rock, but —
we– were the first thing done in His image.
That, from His perspective, would make it true
and poetic and
beautiful
to His sketches of
Himself in the creation,
a love letter of how we came to be.
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flesh v spirit
I can feel my flesh and spirit fighting.
I’ve never felt it so keenly.
I still breathe
and move in my flesh, but
I try to walk in the Spirit.
I’ve never felt so easily how
but it is hard–
they do fight.
They don’t get along
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I want to be chosen
I want to be chosen says the Lord,
to be picked and
chosen and
loved
with the intensity I give,
to receive it in turn,
in whatever capacity can be given.
I want to be chosen.
I don’t want to
compete.
I don’t want to
compete for your love. I don’t want
to compete for your affection.
I will
provide all you need.
I am
all you could ever want.
I want to be chosen, says the Lord.
As I have chosen
you, I also want to be
chosen in return.
It is vulnerable, and it
can be painful
but I can bear it, as I bear
you, and more.
I want to be chosen by
you My love:
My love of choice, My agape.
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enemy position
dare dare dare for difference
innocence
prosecution tries
to accuse and abuse
distract, and protract my timeline.
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disposition of malicious intent
seeking implosion and coercive
the heir disqualified
giving away my position
by my choosing
that’s the disposition, the despised position
of the enemy
Martin Write 