I am beginnings 1

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, Uncategorized, writing

I am beginnings

I am a challenge overcome

I am victorious because of the Son

I am a child of my King

I am His joy and His delight

I am a royal offspring grafted in and fruitful, I hope to ever be

I hoped to be a prism for His light

I hope to build what I can

I hope what I build stands

in my own effort is nothing, with Your help is all.

the master craftsman leads me.

I answer and obey His call. I do not understand it. I do not know where He leads

I feel at a loss for words. I feel at a loss for these:

comprehension, understanding, the boundaries of the world,

my flesh, my sense of self,

the limits of who I love.

my hatred, my debauchery, my lust: I bid you goodbye.

my hope, my connection, My peace: I bet you welcome.

my Christ, my King, I am Yours.

truth and lies

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

truth or lies I’m standing in

they resonate beneath my skin

I’ve known my doubt

I’m filled with fear.

it rings in me from ear to ear,

From my toes to my head I feel like I’m drowning.

Yet I stand in You

and You have me surrounded and Your light and Your glory and Your joy

tries to reach me.

Your peace feels just out of reach,

Beyond the clouds of haze and confusion.

fear, I know not from where, that fills me to the roots

of my hair paralyzed to move,

afraid to make a sound

to move will make it worse.

Indecision abounds.

Walk

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

I take steps in Christ.

I walk back and forth

I learn to walk again on legs that can’t go forth

I learned this new thing, as I learn to walk again

a new way of moving, a new way to attend my faith and my will.

A new way to be

this skill of walking with these things of legs.

These feet, these things at the ends of my limbs

as I take steps for the first time, it should have happened years ago

and yet it still feels new. I stumble and fall

and I cracked my head. I cry and hurt

and I see that I’ve bled.

The alcohol and weed are the things I used to soothe my pain.

To ease the wound

to try to wrap it up again.

As I walk in Jesus, I cry to you instead.

You are my peace and my comfort

You heal the wounds, better than I ever could.

Walking with You, is harder than before.

Walking with You, means going through a

door of challenge and difficulty and hardship I will never guess.

All I know is it’s not easy. And it’s a skill. I confess

there are times I want it easy. There are times I want it not to be

and yet it’s better to walk with You,

to follow in your footsteps.

It’s better to walk in You

to cling to Your side

though it makes and shatters my pride

I ain’t enough

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

I ain’t fast enough. I ain’t tough enough. I ain’t rough enough,

but I know who is

I didn’t eat enough, I didn’t drink enough, I didn’t work enough

but I know who does

I didn’t rest enough,

but I know who does.

But I know who did

Jesus is my king. Jesus is my Lord. He didn’t just save me. He rules my life.

I gave him my cord.

I ain’t fast enough. I Ain’t tough enough. I ain’t gruff enough.

but I know who is.

I ain’t funny enough. I Ain’t wise enough. I ain’t smart enough.

But I know who is

I ain’t stubborn enough. I ain’t wise enough. I ain’t thoughtful enough.

But I know who is.

Jesus is my king. Jesus is my Lord. He rules my life. He lists me high. He lifts me to Him

He lifts me high. He lifts me to Him.

Choice

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

There are things I could give that He does not care for,

That He does not want,

There are things I could give that He would actively discard.

Things I give not because I want to,

but because I’m supposed to.

He wants a choice.

He wants to be chosen.

So he gives us options.

What do we choose?

Do we listen to Him?

Do we obey or do we choose something else?