Tag: addiction

Chosen

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

He wants to be chosen. He wants to be seen, He wants to be picked.

He wants to be our first priority.

We want to be our partner’s First priority.

And we respect the one who doesn’t choose us. We let them go their own way.

Why would God want anything different?

If He knows a different way will lead to death, Why

would He not warn us?

But he did.

He gave us that warning.

and we are judged by what we know,

by what we have heard,

We are judged

and what we have written on our hearts, we are judged.

we know,

but we choose not to listen

run

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

run, run, the damage is done

Babylon comes to stifle our fun.

escape the light to blinding dark.

stumble and flee the coming lark

of pain and gain and misery’s plight.

the salt is bland, the light’s grown dim,

the pounding game begins.

A war of attrition, a slow bleeding out

keep your stand with enemies all around.

Politics shift, Babylon arises—

Again.

An old form returns in the flesh.

/

run run humanity flees,

sin binds and enthralls, keeps me on my knees

the chains keep me raw,

the weight makes me bleed.

stooped and misshapen, I long to awaken.

/

they are comfort and familiar, yes it’s true.

they are comfort and familiar yet I dispize them beyond measure.

the chains weight me down, they rub me raw.

calluses bleed like a toothless maw.

/

the binding is heavy, the weight beyond bareing

stone heart

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

confront the stone and drill right through

hard rubble of calluses

collapse before Him.

Chips fly and sparks fry the air

as compacted heart comes apart.

the new heart transplant can be a

finicky process and the old heart rebellious,

stubborn to die.

/

the Excavator digging through the pain and grief-ite and pride-stone, riddled the old callused heart.

So much pride-stone flecks of green in black, shame stone mirrors that looks endless but lead nowhere, and sparks of delusionite illumination that only blind

the replacement is inevitable and deeply desired,

but painful — none deny it.

But to be of the Excavator’s flock a new heart is needed, required for survival.

the old one will die.

/

so stone flints and flies, freezes and fries.

The drilling and extraction continues.

will not give up

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

I have dealt with spiritual things all my life.

when they know what buttons to push, they push them relentlessly

and hard.

when the buttons they can push are fewer, and you are about to break

free, they push those buttons harder, and relentlessly.

I will not give up. I will not surrender

to my flesh. I will not give up.

I am bought for a price.

I know my value. It is beyond,

what I can conceive.

I will not give up, I will seek

my King.

I will pursue the cross and

the price that was paid for me. I will not give up, though

I fall in the mud and slide back covered

in filth. I learn better the chains that hold me, and I see

better where they are attached.

I will not give up to the process.

I am in the process of being made good I will not end that early.

Steps of growth

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

to feel the pressure from a dying self

a mimicry, a mask that fades

the pressure builds,

something clings to the mask as it crumbles,

as something else wants to push it away.

the new self is born

the old mask dies

yet that which dies tries to cling to life.

//

I progress down my journey and take the steps-of-growth

the old self fades, but clings to life

fighting its’ own death

yet it must die.

I must take those steps.

Sinking into the flesh, I cling to the flesh

a dying thing.

it flickers and fades and it clings all the harder.

I must lean into the Spirit.

it is life,

true life leads to truer happiness, it feels

ephemeral, wispy, mist

yet it is more

enduring, more real, more true

than any flesh or bone.