When I’m Angry, with God

When I’m angry with God

when I’m angry, I’m bringing it to God.

When I am angry with other people,

with things

with situations,

I bring those things to God.

When I’m angry with God–

I know if I bring that to God,

He will allow me

to yell, and rant, and be incoherent, and in

pain, and just be angry,

even though it’s with Him.

Even if I say “God, I’m angry with You.”

And then He’d say, “Okay, tell Me how you feel, express it to Me.”

And I’d say “I’m angry with You.”

And then I would be angry, and tell him exactly how I feel, and why, or even just share the emotion with him.

And we would sit there.

Then He would ask, as He always does:

“Can I have My say?” or

“Do you want to know what I think about that?”

And then I am

scared, because sometimes when

I’m angry, I want to stay angry.

And sometimes my anger is

justified and sometimes it is not.

But sometimes I do not want to

hear what God has to say about my anger.

especially when the anger is

towards him, justified or not.

He is wise,

and patient as long as

I am seeking Him, seeking reconciliation.

There’s times, in my pettiness I don’t

want that. But I have to choose

to hear him out. And he’ll wait,

when I’m angry.