Tag: God

Truth or lies poem

by ekoileman, posted in Uncategorized

truth or lies I’m standing in

they resonate beneath my skin.

I’ve known my doubt,

I’m filled with fear.

it rings in me from ear to ear.

From my toes to my head I feel like I’m drowning.

Yet I stand in You.

You have me surrounded in Your Light and Your Glory and Your Joy tries to reach me.

Your peace feels just out of reach, Beyond the clouds of haze and confusion.

The fear, I know not from where, that fills me to the roots of my hair

paralyzed to move,

afraid to make a sound,

to move will make it worse.

Indecision abounds.

walking with Christ

by ekoileman, posted in Uncategorized

I take steps in Christ. I walk back and forth

I learn to walk again on legs that

can’t go forth.

I learned this new skill I learned this new thing

as I learn to walk again,

a new way of moving,

a new way to attend my faith and my will.

A new way to Be.

this skill of walking with these things of legs.

These things at the ends of my limbs

as I take steps for the first time, it

should have happened years ago and

yet it still feels new.

I stumble and fall

and I cracked my head.

I cry and hurt, and I see that I’ve bled.

The alcohol and weed are the things I use to soothe my pain.

To ease the wound,

to try to wrap it up again. As I walk in Jesus, I cry to You instead.

You are my peace and my comfort.

You heal the wounds better than I ever could. Walking with You

is harder than before. Walking with You

Means going through a door of challenge and difficulty and hardship

I will never guess.

All I know is it’s not easy.

And it’s a skill. I confess

there are times I want it easy. There are times I want it not to be

and yet it’s better to walk with You,

to follow in Your footsteps. It’s better to walk in You,

to cling to Your side

though it makes and shatters my pride.

Lies and truth poem

by ekoileman, posted in Uncategorized

I’m still going through that valley of addiction.

I can’t yet say I’m fully free,

but I see the path. I See the Light.

///

I see the lies and truth

I heard some truth growing up,

but I also heard a lot of lies.

like the lie that “pornography is normal”;

that “pornography is healthy”

that’s a lie.

“pornography is good for exploring”

that’s another line.

stripping away the lies isn’t

the same as choosing to believe truth.

enough poem

by ekoileman, posted in Uncategorized

I ain’t fast enough. I ain’t tough enough. I ain’t rough enough,

but I know Who Is.

I didn’t eat enough, I didn’t drink enough, I didn’t work enough

but I know Who does.

I didn’t rest enough, but I know who does. But I know who did.

Jesus is my King. Jesus is my Lord.

He didn’t just save me.

He rules my life

I gave him my cord.

////

I ain’t fast enough. I Ain’t tough enough, I ain’t gruff enough,

but I know who is.

I ain’t funny enough, I ain’t wise enough, I ain’t smart enough.

But I know who is.

I ain’t stubborn enough, I ain’t stubborn enough, I ain’t thoughtful enough.

But I know who Is.

Jesus is my king. Jesus is my Lord.

He rules my life.

He lifts me high, He lifts me to Him

he lifts me high. He lifts me to Him.

balance

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

I must find a balance, but I am not the juggler.

I am but clay. I am molded by the Clay-Maker.

I’m molded by the One who made me.

He knows what He made me for, and He wants to

work with me, but still

respects that I have choice, and

respect that He knows what He made me for.

Do I respect what I was made for?

-Do I honor what I was made for?

–Do I honor who I was made for?

—Do I care what I was made for?

I want to.

I try to.

I care.

I want to work with my maker.

I want to be what He wishes me to be.

I want to be what He desires of me.

I want to give Him what He desires of me.

He has given me so much. How can I give Him less?

There are things I could give–that He does not care for–That He does not want.

There are things I could give that he would actively discard.

Things I give, not because I want to, but because I’m supposed to.

///

He wants a choice. He wants to be chosen.

So he gives us options. What do we choose?

Do we listen to Him?

Do we obey– or do we choose something else?

Finding Christ

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, Uncategorized, writing

I look around, I wonder where You are.

I see You on the horizon, waving.

I looked down, and realize I am off the path.

You stay where You were. You did not leave me.

I left You. I wandered away.

I’m the one that must return.

You are steadfast and faithful. You are loyal and true.

my nature is faithless. But you make me new

distracted

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

I allowed delay to happen,

I got distracted from my purpose.

the tasks of the day/ filled my mind with a hazes

and I did not do you called me for.

I did not focus on your kingdom,

I did not do the tasks you gave me.

I was confused by the every day, by the ephemeral solid world around me–

Not the truth of You.

I wandered away distracted,

I felt overwhelmed with what I must do. I tried to handle it alone.

And I did not trust in You

I confess my arrogance; I confess my mistakes; I’ve been selfish, and gluttonous, and lustful to the brim.

I’ve been arrogant and prideful. I thought I could do everything on a whim.

I was wrong, Dear Lord. I come back humble and broken.

Again, learning the mistake I’ve done

10,000 times before.

I hope to not make it any more. I pray to not make any more.

To let you work in my life, to let you handle things–

it goes so much better, so much smoother,

when I do.

I know that!

I’ve experienced it.

I can do nothing on my own.

Even Jesus said it.

If that’s true of him,

It is definitely true of me.