Tag: growth

Cries to the dying self

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

I fear myself.

I fear the climb.

I fear the change to a better me.

I fear progression.

I fear alteration.

I fear the death of an older me

I fear the loss

the change
/
I fear the delusion of self blame.

I fear the shame of enacting failure.

I fear the shame of inaction.

I fear the finding of new friends.

I fear the birth of a new self.

One that will brave the cold.

I fear the strength that lies within

it overwhelms, that boldness

To be strong is to be capable
/
I fear my capacity
I fear the gifts that’ve been given to me.

Fear the work that I must do. 

I fear the progress made.

I fear the joy of new discovery.

I fear the path that’s been paved.

my old self fears greatly,

that old self fears to die.
Yet it must or all else fails

including all I love.

Steps of growth

by ekoileman, posted in poetry, writing

to feel the pressure from a dying self

a mimicry, a mask that fades

the pressure builds,

something clings to the mask as it crumbles,

as something else wants to push it away.

the new self is born

the old mask dies

yet that which dies tries to cling to life.

//

I progress down my journey and take the steps-of-growth

the old self fades, but clings to life

fighting its’ own death

yet it must die.

I must take those steps.

Sinking into the flesh, I cling to the flesh

a dying thing.

it flickers and fades and it clings all the harder.

I must lean into the Spirit.

it is life,

true life leads to truer happiness, it feels

ephemeral, wispy, mist

yet it is more

enduring, more real, more true

than any flesh or bone.