submit wrote written
to lay under authority,
to trust
completely.
submit wrote written
to lay under authority,
to trust
completely.
Cookies
gluttony is my sin
at least it has been for a while.
We talk of all the others, but not
That one. Why
is that?
truth or lies I’m standing in
they resonate beneath my skin.
I’ve known my doubt,
I’m filled with fear.
it rings in me from ear to ear.
From my toes to my head I feel like I’m drowning.
Yet I stand in You.
You have me surrounded in Your Light and Your Glory and Your Joy tries to reach me.
Your peace feels just out of reach, Beyond the clouds of haze and confusion.
The fear, I know not from where, that fills me to the roots of my hair
paralyzed to move,
afraid to make a sound,
to move will make it worse.
Indecision abounds.
I take steps in Christ. I walk back and forth
I learn to walk again on legs that
can’t go forth.
I learned this new skill I learned this new thing
as I learn to walk again,
a new way of moving,
a new way to attend my faith and my will.
A new way to Be.
this skill of walking with these things of legs.
These things at the ends of my limbs
as I take steps for the first time, it
should have happened years ago and
yet it still feels new.
I stumble and fall
and I cracked my head.
I cry and hurt, and I see that I’ve bled.
The alcohol and weed are the things I use to soothe my pain.
To ease the wound,
to try to wrap it up again. As I walk in Jesus, I cry to You instead.
You are my peace and my comfort.
You heal the wounds better than I ever could. Walking with You
is harder than before. Walking with You
Means going through a door of challenge and difficulty and hardship
I will never guess.
All I know is it’s not easy.
And it’s a skill. I confess
there are times I want it easy. There are times I want it not to be
and yet it’s better to walk with You,
to follow in Your footsteps. It’s better to walk in You,
to cling to Your side
though it makes and shatters my pride.
We gather together to mourn.
It matters not where you’re born.
The grief is shared
we show that we care
for the loss of one hurts us all.
My mind needs something
else to spiral on. Not
my worries or my concerns or my fears. Focus
on the Word of God. Scripture memory
is better
I’m still going through that valley of addiction.
I can’t yet say I’m fully free,
but I see the path. I See the Light.
///
I see the lies and truth
I heard some truth growing up,
but I also heard a lot of lies.
like the lie that “pornography is normal”;
that “pornography is healthy”
that’s a lie.
“pornography is good for exploring”
that’s another line.
stripping away the lies isn’t
the same as choosing to believe truth.
Rest is hard. Rest is a weapon. Rest is a command.
Rest is not laziness. Rest only follows real effort and work.
rest
is restoration
rest is a command.
Rest is worship when done right.
rest is for our renewal.
///
rest is not
constant movement, rest is not
doing everything.
rest is a command.
It is not a suggestion.
I ain’t fast enough. I ain’t tough enough. I ain’t rough enough,
but I know Who Is.
I didn’t eat enough, I didn’t drink enough, I didn’t work enough
but I know Who does.
I didn’t rest enough, but I know who does. But I know who did.
Jesus is my King. Jesus is my Lord.
He didn’t just save me.
He rules my life
I gave him my cord.
////
I ain’t fast enough. I Ain’t tough enough, I ain’t gruff enough,
but I know who is.
I ain’t funny enough, I ain’t wise enough, I ain’t smart enough.
But I know who is.
I ain’t stubborn enough, I ain’t stubborn enough, I ain’t thoughtful enough.
But I know who Is.
Jesus is my king. Jesus is my Lord.
He rules my life.
He lifts me high, He lifts me to Him
he lifts me high. He lifts me to Him.
I must find a balance, but I am not the juggler.
I am but clay. I am molded by the Clay-Maker.
I’m molded by the One who made me.
He knows what He made me for, and He wants to
work with me, but still
respects that I have choice, and
respect that He knows what He made me for.
Do I respect what I was made for?
-Do I honor what I was made for?
–Do I honor who I was made for?
—Do I care what I was made for?
I want to.
I try to.
I care.
I want to work with my maker.
I want to be what He wishes me to be.
I want to be what He desires of me.
I want to give Him what He desires of me.
He has given me so much. How can I give Him less?
There are things I could give–that He does not care for–That He does not want.
There are things I could give that he would actively discard.
Things I give, not because I want to, but because I’m supposed to.
///
He wants a choice. He wants to be chosen.
So he gives us options. What do we choose?
Do we listen to Him?
Do we obey– or do we choose something else?