5 things I did right today

I visited Donny

during the Wake for his mother

and I tried to comfort and connect with him.

I fed our dog.

I went to the gym.

I did recovery work for my muscles.

Five things I’m

grateful for the leader unchained group.

I’m grateful for the men who

reached out to me

after it.

I am grateful for

Gilbert, Gill, who through God’s

grace alone reached out to me this morning. I’m grateful

for God’s work in my life. I am

grateful for God’s work in

his life.

I am grateful for the human connections and

growth that I feel God is doing in my life.

When I’m Angry, with God

When I’m angry with God

when I’m angry, I’m bringing it to God.

When I am angry with other people,

with things

with situations,

I bring those things to God.

When I’m angry with God–

I know if I bring that to God,

He will allow me

to yell, and rant, and be incoherent, and in

pain, and just be angry,

even though it’s with Him.

Even if I say “God, I’m angry with You.”

And then He’d say, “Okay, tell Me how you feel, express it to Me.”

And I’d say “I’m angry with You.”

And then I would be angry, and tell him exactly how I feel, and why, or even just share the emotion with him.

And we would sit there.

Then He would ask, as He always does:

“Can I have My say?” or

“Do you want to know what I think about that?”

And then I am

scared, because sometimes when

I’m angry, I want to stay angry.

And sometimes my anger is

justified and sometimes it is not.

But sometimes I do not want to

hear what God has to say about my anger.

especially when the anger is

towards him, justified or not.

He is wise,

and patient as long as

I am seeking Him, seeking reconciliation.

There’s times, in my pettiness I don’t

want that. But I have to choose

to hear him out. And he’ll wait,

when I’m angry.

Grace begins

grace begins with

sorrow, repent and turn away.

The Undeserved given gifts

received in pain and joy.

Pain at the separation,

     Joy at the renewal of connection

and relation.

//

Grace begins with reaching out 

     hope for reaching back.

//

Grace begins with joy and love, 

     with bowing and delight,

     with faith and hope and trembling,

     and in the deepest sight.

Grace begins with blood, 

     for I am dearly bought